Feeling Better!

My dear blogging friends

A very big THANK YOU......

for all the kind thoughts and messages..

winging their way across

land and ocean.

I so appreciate each one of you!

As we walk and talk together

I just wanted to take you to one of my

favourite places.....

a garden centre and nursery

that also has two restaurants.....

one with a decking overlooking the gardens

and ponds.

I've brought you here before

but I come again and again .....

so I hope that you will keep enjoying it with me!

My friends have brought me here

several times over these last weeks....

just before my op...

and certainly since I had it four weeks ago.

The food is excellent...

and the peace and tranquility...

just quieten your soul!

Hold on a minute.....

Now what can those be?

I haven't seen them before......

No, I really don't know what it is!!

This is my wonderful friend (who has really kept my spirits up by taking me out every few days....)

investigating this flower for me...

how far does friendship go??

I still don't know what it is!!

We walk to our favourite place to sit and enjoy

the peace and tranquility...

and always...

breathe a sigh of relief....

 when we find that..

nobody else has taken..

what we consider 'our place'!!

From here

there's a lovely view of the ponds

and in the other direction....

and look at all those fish.....!

We love to sit and watch them jump

on a lazy summer afternoon

I find it a wonderful place

to be at peace...

but others

have a different agenda.....!!

now....what can he see...?

Those darn fish......

probably!

The operation went well and people

are saying that they can see 

that the pain has gone from my face.

I am also told by so many

that I'm walking straighter......

I am just so grateful.

It's been a long six and half years

of being in wheelchairs, on crutches 

and in so much pain.......and

operation after operation.

I do so hope that

this will be the last and that I will be able

to cast aside these crutches

(I have been told I will be on them for a while longer)

and be able to go on my favourite

coastpath walks

and be free to do so many things.

It's true

You don't value things until you loose them!!

I enjoyed the walks...

and the holidays abroad...but..

in a way

took it all fore-granted!

I think (hope)

that I have been learning....

not to rush hither and thither....

To not fill my days so full..

and feel pleased when I have been able to slot

yet another 'important' thing in.

To take time and enjoy

the beauty that is all around me...

the friends that have rallied around...

and unselfishly helped me.

I learnt to blog during this time...

and have made so many friends all over the world.

Thank you all.... 

for supporting me through....

 ....my highs..

and lows!

It's been a like

a series of stepping stones....

each one bringing

a new view of life....

or a new thing to learn.....

Through you all and your craft stories and pictures

I learnt to crochet...

( I have just finished I pram cover for a friend's grandchild)

I already knitted a lot

but I've learnt to be more adventurous

and have even joined a Knit a Long!!

Tangled Yarn Phoebe Knit a Long

I've had the wool for 3 weeks

but haven't yet started!!

I am awful to start things....

I keep putting it off.

Afraid of getting it wrong....I expect!

I love the colours of the pattern

but unfortunately

they don't suit me so I bought these...

Lastly....

Someone else who enjoys the gardens!!

Sooooo Long!!

My dear blogging friends

It has been so long

and I feel ashamed that I haven't replied

to so many lovely comments

and emails!

Thanks you all so much!

I wasn't allowed to drive for sometime

and so kind friends took me 

out for drives

This one is over the Preseli Hills

with the 2 reservoirs in the background

I had hoped to have made more progress by now.

The pain in my back is easier

and I can feel my feet 

(though this is sometimes very painful).

I am still on crutches

and cannot walk without them.

I asked why this was worse than before the op

so they decided to do an Xray

of my left hip...

and....

low and behold...

it is bone on bone and growing spurs

The right one is, apparently, text book OK!!

When I look at the quarries above

or the little cottage

in the moors..

when I think of how hard life must have been

for those working there...

I think, "What have I to whinge about"

The fact still remains....

I am still in a lot of pain and on strong painkillers

and

I need another operation!

So I am going back to Cardiff 

for a total hip replacement 

on 30th April

Tomorrow I have to go there

for a 2 hour pre-op assessment....

I have been rather down.

Although I know that hip replacements are routine and very successful now...

It's the thought 

of the immediate post-op pain

and the pain when you have to start mobilising.

I know some of you have been through so much worse but it's only a few months since my last major op and sometimes I think that I just don't have the energy for this all over again.

Plus over these last 6 years I have had been in plaster 3 times (2 of these ops.1 of those a fusion) on my left ankle;

2 times on my right (1 was an op.);

2 back operations

and now...this!!

And...

Every time...

I was told...

"This will be it...after this all will be well...."

I thought I'd be up and able to walk our lovely coast path and do things with my mother and grandchildren without having to take handfuls of painkillers and sit down every few steps...

I'm fed up of putting a brave face on so that people will want to be in my presence.

I'm fed up of people laughing at things that I have to do for day to day living..

like carrying things up and downstairs 

(which I do as seldom as possible as it's so painful) 

in a backpack.  

I laugh with them laughing at me

but inside I'm bleeding!!

In the Drs the other day I was in tears and was told "Never mind.  Use your black humour.  You'll get by"

Now you see, my friends, why I haven't blogged in so long....

I've probably already driven away

the few of your who have been kind enough to write!!

Sorry!

I do hope that you can understand 

why I haven't blogged.

Life has just been too painful

and upsetting

and I can no longer put on a mask

and joke about it!

It was a lovely day Easter Sat

so I persuaded a friend to come to one of my favourite places...

Picton Castle.

In a wild patch of garden the Fritillaria 

were looking gorgeous

Aren't they gorgeous?

Round the corner we came upon.....

Aren't they incredible?

My friend was totally

overwhelmed!

They are made from sculptured willow.

Just look at the hands!

Aren't they....?

I've run out of superlative adjectives!!

It was a lovely..

and surprising....afternoon!

And ...then...

I arrived home to find

an Easter arrangement from a friend

Isn't this a cute arrangement?

I am so fortunate in all my friends...

and I include you all in this.

Thanks you so much for your care and concern!

Do you see who I see 

lurking amongst the flowers....

I Wonder.......!!

This morning

I was looking at my son's cattle

busily grazing in the field behind our house

and I wondered....

What do they think about whilst they are eating??

"Just a little more grass"....?!!

I remember

a good friend.....a minister's wife

who led a very gifted ministry.

She used to jog for miles most days.....

Somebody asked her did she pray whilst she jogged.?

Did she have deep and meaningfull thoughts?

(others expectations of us ..as well as 

our own about ourselves??)

She said "No.....

...I think.....I'll just try and make it 

as far as the next lamppost!"

That was unexpected!!

I enjoyed my year , last year......

Seeing things from a different angle.....

This is the ferry

starting it's journey to Ireland....

Then this bridge leads to further delights

around the corner

I accomplished so many things

from my wish list...

Ok

It did mean pushing myself..

and taking extra painkillers......

and resting for the next few days.....

But....I felt so fulfilled

and satisfied at just having accomplished it.

........

After operating

my consultant said that my nerves

were so badly crushed

that he wondered how I had managed to do all I did!

So did I!!

What I know is that....for me...

at that time....the best thing was....

accomplishing something

after years of operations and resting.

I wonder if we would act differently....

not put off to another day

the things we would really like to do/see.....

repair broken relationships...

whatever is bubbling away at the back of our minds...

just needing to be done...someday...

after I've done....

This was Newgale last summer.....

I wonder if....

the pub owners ever thought......??

and this is it last week...

after the floods had subsided a little.....

The shingle bank

has been thrown onto the road 

so that you can't see where it is.....

....and the pub was much more submerged 

by the flood waters

People walk along the new bank

where the road once was..

whilst...

Diggers work to restore it....

Can you see the edge of the road??

Roll on summer!

So I can, once again, visit favourite spots!

Last week I was told

that I was still to take it very easy...

to continue as I was told to do straight after the op...

to stay on crutches...

not bend, stretch, twist....etc

so that the bone grafts

and rods they have put in...

will take and heal.

I wonder why...

we women have to have permission.....

to stop and rest

Before my appointment last week...

I had been thinking that I should be 

trying to do more...

..that it was 'time' for me...

to pick up the reigns of the house, meals etc...

It was such a relief to be told by a professional...

to stop and rest for sometime yet..

I am so grateful

for all that I am learning....

especially over these last few years of,

mainly, inactivity.

I'm so grateful, also,

for all the encouraging comments from you...

my blogging friends

I still....Wonder Why....

What about you??!!