Sunday, 30 December 2012

Morning has broken







The other morning
I watched the sun rise as I lay in my hospital bed
It was so glorious
that I wanted to share it with you








I came home from hospital last Friday afternoon
I find it hard to believe that.......
I was there for 2 weeks
and that
Christmas has been and gone!!

I am still very short of breath and have been warned
that I am not allowed to do anything
for the next 2 weeks
and very little more for the next 6
or
I will be back in...
what a difficult choice!!
No guessing which I choose!
But...for me
staying still is sooooo difficult!
At the moment I haven't even the energy to crochet!






Thank you all so much for your messages of love
and support.
They really.......really helped

The wifi in the hospital was terrible
it came and went
I read some of your posts,wrote a comment
and it would disappear.
In the end I just gave up!

I hope to catch up with you all
and your doings...
as I get more energy and rest!

I am so sorry that my posts these last months seem to be all about hospital......
.....I look forward to Spring.....
and being out and about!





Hubbie and I were talking the other night
about his father
who, as a young man,
went to America to get work and see the world
He lived in Michigan
in a place called Peach Ridge, Sparta

This was in 1912
100 years ago!!

Recently

we found a letter from someone named
Slaughter and think this may
be the person
for whom he worked
so next year
we would like to see what we can find out!

Interesting...
Exciting!

Fancy...100 years ago
setting out across the pond in search of work.
No technology
Just a longing to explore......
and work in new fields...
literally!!




I

Monday, 24 December 2012

A Very Hapy Christmas










To all my friends
Who have allowed me to be a part
Of these last months

And who
Have 'been there' for me
And encouraged my every effort

I wish you all a happy and blessed
Christmas
A time of joy and 
Wonderful peace be yours

I will still be in hospital
I am happy about this as I am not well enough
To go home

The family are bringing in 
Christmas Lunch
And have arranged to visit
And that is good!

It has all given me quite a different perspective 
I have met some wonderful people
Nurses
Other patients and their relatives
And have been privileged 
To be with them at difficult times in their lives!
I see a 'purpose' in this
Time apart
Which makes it all OK


My thoughts and good wishes
Are with each one of you
My dear, dear
Blogging Friends

Be Blessed

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

This morning

















I woke this morning to a glorious 
Sunrise
From the windows of my hospital ward

I took a couple of, I think, unusual photos but wasn't able to download them
From my iPad
I look forward to showing them after I return home!

From here I can see the queues of panicking shoppers trying to get everything done before
The Big Day!

Cars queuing in
And cars queuing out.........

It seems so strange to be sitting , as it were, as an onlooker
Seeing but not a part of it all!

Down there there are battles being fought for parking spaces...
Getting the last minute presents 
And food

Up here .... In my ward .....there is a battle for life being played out .....
Not mine but another dear old lady!
Reaching for each new breath...............


And surrounded by her family

Puts things in perspective
Doesn't it?

At home are all the half done 'things'
That I had been planning to accomplish this week.......
There's no point in my fretting


They say I'll be in here quite a while longer
So I just have to let it all go

As a friend emailed me
" at least you have to rest now!"

So...thanks for all your caring thoughts and prayers
I so appreciate each one

And please....please in this Season of Joy
Think of those who are suffering
And say a prayer for Barbara

As she walks .........




Friday, 14 December 2012

Back in Hospital





The chest infection that saw me taken into hospital in an ambulance
last Sunday and spending most of the day in Resus





Has made me have to be readmitted!

I saw the Doctor this afternoon

any he said I had to go straight to Hospital


( do not pass go....do not collect £200 etc)


I have been able to catch up with a lot of you while being unable to
leave the sofa !

Those I didn't. I'm so sorry!

I had a new post planned for my return from the Dr....

I had been going to show you the ripple blanket that I have started whilst lying down
But that's for another post!

Thanks for your support
Joan

Saturday, 8 December 2012

Deck the Halls?






When we were staying with my mother
only a couple of weeks ago..
...seems more!




We took my daughter
to a place I always have to visit
on my trips to see Mum.

The above is the entrance .....
to the little coffee room

Sitting...looking out...
is another view of the treasures hidden around.




I hardly manage to 'escape' from here
without buying.....
some of the unusual things that I rarely
see elsewhere
(That's my excuse anyway!)




Needless to say...
I didn't escape this time either!!




Thank you all so much
for sharing your thoughts with me
after my last post

It's not so much that I feel pressured to blog...
because I don't!





It's more that sometimes I don't manage
to visit you
and that makes me feel guilty ....(isn't really
the word that I'm searching for!)



I find that, since I started blogging,......
 I view my surroundings differently!

I so want to share my world with you,
my friends!




Equally, I have learnt so much from you all.
I have looked at my china etc
and decided to change around the tops of
the mantle or other  tables.....
Instead of keeping them always the same!!

I have cleared out my front porch
and am waiting...
...... for inspiration on how to 'dress it'




Yes...I know it's a little out of focus...
but hey....
I'm not perfect ...and....
 ......I so wanted to show you

I digress.....





I have been encouraged to try out things...
like crochet and, even,
actual blogging!

I have pushed myself to walk a little further so that I could show you some of our beautiful county....
places that I haven't been able to enjoy for 4 years!

and...all along the way
... you have been 'there' for me and with me...
encouraging me...telling me that, yes, I could do it!!




You have also supported me when I was waiting for hospital appointments....
through surgery...
through other emotional family problems.....
through hubbie's stroke
a few weeks ago

So why.....
should I want to stop blogging?

I don't...

so could you please tell me........
how do you feel...manage...
visiting and responding to the lovely and encouraging comments?

I could ...and have...spent hours visiting....
I LOVE IT
but life 'happens'!

and the comment
I had a couple of weeks ago saying
why hadn't I visited in a while and that...
 'friends visit'
made me feel that I was 'short changing' you all!!


I would really appreciate your feedback!



As we were driving away
I realised that I hadn't taken a picture of the outside
(I was so keen to get in)!!

So this is taken through the back window
Sorry!!



Friday, 30 November 2012

So.......!?







It seems a strange title........
but that is where I am!

For several weeks I have struggled to decide whether I should continue blogging.
I have read others' struggles with the decision
to continue...or not!

Everyone has been so supportive and has written such encouraging comments to me
but I have not had the time, or the oomph,
to visit them recently




I have felt that I am not alone
when I read the supportive notes that
 you all have written
and I so enjoy reading about others' lives all over the world and seeing areas that I will never visit




I have learnt so much about decorating
my home
and been given so many ideas as to how to arrange
my china and front porch
(well I have the ideas but haven't done it yet!)

I've even started crocheting and been encouraged along by you all, to try other things
but I just haven't visited you recently.......

In fact one of my followers gently pointed out
in her comment to me last week
that I hadn't visited her recently........
and that friends visit each other!!

So I'm thinking that it is not fair to you all who kindly continue visiting me and leaving encouraging comments.......
perhaps I had better stop




Since this last op I am still on so many meds
that life seems to be 
a long hard daily chore......
(as I know it is for so many of you, my friends) 
and I just don't seem to get around
to all that I intend to... 

My daughter did take me up to see my mother
which was so good of her
Mum looked great, as always, and it was good to sit and share stories
She's 92 and in better fettle than I am!

My husband had a slight stroke last week
I took him to the doctors as I thought he had had one and he refused to go anywhere else.
The doctor immediately admitted him to hospital
and he was there for a few days.
I didn't mention it on my last blog as I hadn't told my mother and she would have been upset
to read it first here!
He's home now and certainly a lot better...





I finished Mum's Granny Stripe blanket and she's delighted with it.
It amused me to see the difference
in size and tension
between the first rows and the last ones. This was the first proper crochet work that I started!!





I then made this baby shawl
for my neighbour's new granddaughter
I found the pattern in Ravelry
it was by Candi Jensen
  see here





I found this pattern on Ravelry, and
designed by Suzana Davidovic, for  a Calm Cowl
I'm crocheting it in Rowan Purelife
British Sheep Breeds Undyed and it's from
a Bluefaced Leicester




I made Mum's cowl in Manos del Uruguay.
It looked really lovely on her
but I forgot to take a photo......!


So....my friends...thank you so much for your help and friendship
I'm not being mawkish
but, if you feel that you could put up with a friend
who visits only occasionally......
and blogs infrequently...






Friday, 23 November 2012

Making Every Minute Count







I was taking photos a few weeks ago, to capture
the last flowers before the winter
when a butterfly
decided to enjoy them too!!





It made me think about 'savouring the moment.'

I don't know about you but I so enjoy the beauty around me and the simplest  flower
growing stuck in a corner
of a pile of rubble





can touch something deep inside me that demands
a response.....and a pause
in what I'm doing!

I am touched by its beauty and I take a photo
or two.......
I pause to enjoy the moment
and wonder what quirk of fate cause it to seed and grow in such an unwelcome place




Here's another that has just turned up
out of the blue !
I don't even know what it is!
(the yellow one above)





Others are ones that I have planted and I do
pause, frequently, to enjoy...
their colours and shapes




                    I'm not trying to be corny.....
                          but I am thinking
                 of all that is happening in my life     
                            and I wonder
if I am making the best of where I am at this moment

                      rather than worrying
    about what I have lost and what the future holds?!
                           .....and...yes... 
       I know it says something similar in the Bible!!





I so appreciate the loving and thoughtful
words that you have spent time
writing to me...




after my last post
and I hope to reply personally
to each one of you my dear friends!

It has made me think a lot and I realise that I need
to spend time just enjoying where I am
and what I have.





I don't mean that I/we shouldn't dream...
(I still need to learn how as.........
I seem to have forgotten!)





I remember well
watching my children...and, also now, grandchildren
hunkering down on their haunches
totally concentrating on watching an ant or....
some other bug




totally absorbed....
their whole world focussed on watching
whatever was happening
before them





I don't know about you..... but,
probably due to many responsibilities and 'things'
that are a source of worry and concern,
I feel that I have lost this ability!





William Henry Davies wrote

"What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows...."




I well remember.......
several years ago,
going for a walk with a friend.

We stopped,leaning on a gate, to enjoy the view.

There were cattle contentedly grazing
and a stream flowing slowly by....... while a tree
trailed its branches in the water
making little sparkles as the sun struck sparks
of light on the ripples
in the water.

Suddenly I realised that I was trying
to count the cattle!!

What a relief when I realised that.......
they were not my responsibility..
......they belonged to somebody else!!

I was free to relax and enjoy the scenery!

What am I trying to say?
Seeing the butterfly sipping the nectar from
 the flower...

Can I realise
what are my responsibilities
and what can I let go
so that I can
pause and take in the glory of the moment
and enjoy where I am

IN THIS PRESENT MOMENT!!





Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Somewhere Over the Rainbow?!






When I awoke the other morning
there was a glorious
Rainbow
outside my window.....
so I did as all bloggers seem to do.....
and grabbed my camera!
How I wish I had a wider lens so
I could capture the whole!




I loved the double rainbow
that seemed to highlight the local houses




The raindrops on the lens
still don't seem to spoil the picture!

I was thinking of the song from 'The Wizard of Oz'

'Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
and the dreams that you dare to dream
really do come true'





So many of my 'dreams' have come to a grinding halt
and I find myself afraid to dream
in case they just don't happen..........
in fact, if I'm truly honest, I have spent so much time
in a 'waiting for the next op'
frame of mind
that I don't know what to dream anyway!!





Sorry if this is an uncomfortable post but I wonder how many who read this have had to put their dreams on hold for so long that they can't remember or don't know how to dream again?

I know that I'm afraid to try........
.....I just don't know what to dream

One thing I'm desperate to do is go 200 miles
to see my mother
whom I haven't seen
since her 92nd birthday in August!
I usually try to drive and see her every other month
They have only just allowed me to drive
but only as far as our local town!

There are no easy trains or buses!
I would need some way
where I can stop, get out and move around

I have tossed so many ideas around in my mind.

My daughter said yesterday
 that she will try to take me ...... she has a full life
with family and many other committments
so I don't know how she can 'fit it in'!

I used to be driving everywhere and so independent!
This life is so different and difficult!!

Would you say seeing Mum is a dream...?
In fact, now I come to think about it,
what is a dream?

'Someday I'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me'

Wouldn't that be a nice place to be?......




Saturday, 3 November 2012

Ffald y Brenin







Last week
I asked some friends if they would take me
to a very special place




Ffald y Brenin
(which means Sheepfold of the King.)






This is a retreat centre
that came into being over 20 years ago





It's founders believed that an old farmhouse
and buildings





situated on the top of the Preseli Hills





should be converted
to a Christian Retreat Centre





Years of hard work
has made it the most wonderful place to be...
...whether for one day or more!






I walked out nearly to the cross
and looked back at the centre through the trees
I just love all the curves and shapes!









The views from the windows are incredible!





The circular building at the top
is the Chapel.

There was a large rock
in the way of the building work...
it was found to actually be....
a part of the mountain




So they built the Chapel
around it!




Just a few photos of the front








This is the entrance
and look who is coming in!




Thank you to all who wrote such wonderful and encouraging comments on my last blog.

It really helped!!
What supportive friends you all are.

I hope to reply to each one individually but it may take me a while!
I value your comments!





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