Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Home from Hospital!

I don't look like her!!
Even though I am a farm girl

I came home from hospital
a couple of weeks ago.

....and I don't look like her either!!

It was a much bigger op
than they had intended
so I had to stay in longer

and since then have been 
heavily dosed with pain killers
so that I haven't felt like,
or been able to do,
very much

I am beginning to feel
a little brighter
and so wanted to thank all who sent cards
and good wishes for my recovery

I am told
that I have to stay heavily medicated
for a long time,
and that the nerves that were so badly crushed
will take a long time to regenerate
and cause a lot of pain,
and other strange feelings,
but that it will all be worth it!!

A few days after I came home from hospital
I had a phone call from a paramedic saying 
my mother had fallen in town
and was being taken to hospital.

She has fractured
her right wrist
and is badly bruised and has wrenched muscles
in her left side
Bless her heart she doesn't need this
as she is 93!
You may have read a couple of her guest posts

I find it very hard
as she lives 200 miles away
and I long to be able to go and help her
but there's nothing I can do!

Life's hard....isn't it!?

My daughter and family
came on Saturday
and took the Christmas tree and decorations
down from the attic

and yesterday
a friend came and put decorations
on these twigs
so I thought that I would show you

a few of the things
that I have collected over the years

Thank you all so much for your kind words
and support.

May you all have a Blessed Christmas
and a Happy and Healthy
New Year!

Do you think
I might look like her??


Sunday, 17 November 2013

It's been a long time

My dear blogging friends.
It's been a long time, I know.
I'm so sorry that I haven't been in touch
without long explanations,
I know you understand.

My son and family
invited me to stay in Scotland 
with them at the end of October..
the Doctor had said 
I needed a holiday...

and we spent the week
in the Trossachs
This is Lachlan Castle
first seen in the distance and then
getting closer

Such a pretty place to stay
if you can afford it!
We couldn't!!!
So we went to a nearby tearoom...

...drank wonderful hot chocolate,
were persuaded to have the most delicious scones - (almost(but not quite) as good as my mother's) -  straight from the oven and covered with strawberry jam and whipped cream

and sat and looked out at Old Castle Lachlan

The weather was really bad when we were there,
so any small ray of sunshine
had the cameras out!

I am sure that you can see 
the difference in the photos?!?

However, no matter what the weather,
the welcome 
in the little
was always friendly and warm!

I did take more photos
but won't put them all on today.
I wanted to show you a couple of things
that I have made

I finished the Capo-Ktus shawl
The pattern can be downloaded from Ravelry

It is the most glorious yarn
with a lovely sheen
and just slips through your fingers as you work.
Handmaiden - Sea-silk.
It was very expensive but so worth it!
I bought it with

I  also knitted
Lisa's Wrap

I had made one for my daughter in law in the summer and Mum loved it..
 so she chose the yarn
yes another Noro Kogarashi!

and I've just finished 
a baby blanket

The colours haven't come out too well on this photo
They really are a lot lighter!

So....I haven't made much really...
I have started a few things and then not been happy and so pulled them out!

It's been a strange couple of months...
thank you all so much
for writing
and even one friend sent a card!
I do so appreciate
the love and support that you have all shown..
sorry I haven't written back

It somehow feels 
as if time is in slow motion 
and everything takes so long to accomplish 
that I often don't even start!!
The result is that I seem to have got 
very little accomplished!

I've been in quite a lot of pain
(even with all the meds)
and it feels as if the op last September (2012)
hasn't had much effect.

I am going to Cardiff
(100 miles away)
for a major back op
on 26th of this month!

At the moment I am trying to get everything ready
both for being in hospital for a week
but also..
for when I come out...
...especially with Christmas looming!

I so hope that this will do the trick
and that I will be out of pain and able to walk and get about more easily!

I am so sorry that I haven't visited any of you recently.
I just don't seem to have the energy.
It doesn't mean that 
I haven't thought and spoken of you all a lot!
Hopefully I will get to see some of you soon...
I might even be able to visit
if the hospital has Wifi.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, my friends in the USA

I'll show you 
just one more of the ruined castles we discovered

Friday, 27 September 2013


A Rainbow....
seems to be the universal symbol of

That's why I chose this picture
from many that I took
from our windows last year!

We seem to have a lot of rainbows here
particularly in November.

God said that, when we saw it,
we would remember His promise to us....

So why am I showing this
of all the pictures that I could have chosen?

I was on the way to my doctor this morning
and thought
'Why am I feeling so flat....almost dead inside?'

I realised that I really didn't care about anything and
didn't want to do anything.

As a counsellor
I knew I was depressed....

....and asked myself what had happened.
I had been so positive...
and had been pushing myself 
to do some of the things I missed

Although I was in constant pain...
I was taking control of my life again.....
and it felt GOOD

So....what went wrong??

I tried to think when it had started...
and realised that 
it had been going on for about a month.

So....what happened a month ago?

It was when I saw my consultant in the local hospital.
He had not been happy that...
I had the last op in Cardiff........
and wanted to write to them to see 
what they had done.

That is all good and fair..
and very wise and reasonable
the hospital in Cardiff
is terrible for correspondence.
I had to write and phone so many times
to get them to write to my Dr
as they had, even, not written to him
to tell him they had operated!
That was 6 months after!!

I realised my sense of 
hopelessness and helplessness
started there!

I am just sooooo weary
and having to start all over again...
trying to get information
and then to get them to write about it correctly
feels just too much!!

I have now had over 5 years
of trying to get help
and get some sort of pain relief.
I do not like having to be on painkillers

I feel like I have lost hope!

Sorry for moaning
now you know why I have not posted 
for nearly a month.
I feel I have nothing to say

I have followed others' blogs
and I can see that they are going through things that are far worse than my problems
 and are, even, life threatening
so I really have nothing to complain about

this is me....
I know that I have to 
'pull myself together and get on with it'!!
I don't know now 
when the information will come through....
when, if ever, they will decide to operate.

So.... for the moment
I have lost hope.
I know that I will recoup
but...just at this feels...

Sorry about this miserable post
but I've read often enough
where people are urged to be open 
and be themselves.

I know I will come about so please don't 
stop following me....or...
give up on me...
please give me time....

Hence the rainbow....
symbol of hope...
of a new start..

Saturday, 31 August 2013


A couple of weeks ago....
I asked the question..
"Where do you go
when you need to unwind?"

So many of you
shared your special ways and places.
Thank you!

I wanted to share with you
another of my 'winding down' places

The deep water estuary
of Milford Haven
has been used over the centuries
for many enterprises

The 3 o'clock ferry
to Ireland
goes all steam ahead

The deep dry docks
where boats come in for overhaul and repairs
are behind me as I look across
the estuary.
Doesn't that yacht look small against the ferry?

Behind me too is 
the Marina and a lot of
shops under the colonnade

and also

a few cafes!

Now, shall we have a hot chocolate
like this lady?
Oh, it does look scrummy...
with its whipped cream..
and marshmallows..

I suppose a cup of tea
will be less fattening and..
more refreshing!

Young people are in the marina 
practicing rowing

It was time 
for a little walk around the marina 
before going home

An old winch

In the dry dock!

Working boats
Below is the Fishery Patrol boat

Milford Haven 
is a very special place
for me.

When I am there I just relax
and let go....
I feel so 'held' there.

Well my mother was born there....
and I spent many happy hours
on holiday
and spending time 
with my grandparents
and my aunt and uncle.

When I was young,
my parents lived in the Midlands
and I suffered terribly with asthma.
It was felt that the sea air might help 
so off I went
to stay in Milford 
and go to school there for a while!

In those days
this area was all docks....
and to many fishing boats...
this was their home.
What a busy place it was then 
with the fishmarket,
the ice factory,
and all the rest of the things necessary 
for a thriving Fishing port!

I spent so much time here with my grandfather
who was an electrician on the docks.
In fact it was always said by the locals that he..
'lit up the docks'!!
as he installed the electric lighting!

I remember one day
my younger brother was fishing off the end of the pier for tiddlers 
and caught nothing.
Grandad took him into the fishmarket 
and bought a couple of fish.
My brother took them home... 
and told granny that he had caught them!
I don't know whether.... 
or not... 
she believed him 
as they were plaice 
(which can only be caught a long way from here)
anyway she was very convincing in her praise!!

In the records in this museum
it mentions about Grandad
and the lighting

My mother was a wren in the war
and the building she worked in 
as a communications officer
still stands on the docks.

It's used by the fisheries now.

When Mum comes to stay 
this is one of the places we visit
so many memories..
memories of drilling, 
with the other wrens from the wrennery, 
along the Rath...
memories of walking home in the pitch black after a duty and feeling rather frightened...
So many memories!!

This is Mum
outside her office
with her immediate superior.

Mum met my father when his ship
came into Milford with a big hole in the side!
He was on destroyers
and then submarines....

They were married here in Milford....
and Mum stayed with her parents 
until Dad 
came home from the war

So Milford settles and comforts me
when I feel rather
out of kilter.
Somehow I feel held and embraced!

This week 

I'm joining

The Tablescaper for....... Seasonal Sundays