Morning has broken

The other morning

I watched the sun rise as I lay in my hospital bed

It was so glorious

that I wanted to share it with you



I came home from hospital last Friday afternoon

I find it hard to believe that.......

I was there for 2 weeks

and that

Christmas has been and gone!!

I am still very short of breath and have been warned

that I am not allowed to do anything

for the next 2 weeks

and very little more for the next 6

or

I will be back in...

what a difficult choice!!

No guessing which I choose!

But...for me

staying still is sooooo difficult!

At the moment I haven't even the energy to crochet!

Thank you all so much for your messages of love

and support.

They really.......really helped

The wifi in the hospital was terrible

it came and went

I read some of your posts,wrote a comment

and it would disappear.

In the end I just gave up!

I hope to catch up with you all

and your doings...

as I get more energy and rest!

I am so sorry that my posts these last months seem to be all about hospital......

.....I look forward to Spring.....

and being out and about!

Hubbie and I were talking the other night

about his father

who, as a young man,

went to America to get work and see the world

He lived in Michigan

in a place called Peach Ridge, Sparta

This was in 1912

100 years ago!!

Recently

we found a letter from someone named

Slaughter and think this may

be the person

for whom he worked

so next year

we would like to see what we can find out!

Interesting...

Exciting!

Fancy...100 years ago

setting out across the pond in search of work.

No technology

Just a longing to explore......

and work in new fields...

literally!!

I

A Very Hapy Christmas

To all my friends

Who have allowed me to be a part

Of these last months

And who

Have 'been there' for me

And encouraged my every effort

I wish you all a happy and blessed

Christmas

A time of joy and 

Wonderful peace be yours

I will still be in hospital

I am happy about this as I am not well enough

To go home

The family are bringing in 

Christmas Lunch

And have arranged to visit

And that is good!

It has all given me quite a different perspective 

I have met some wonderful people

Nurses

Other patients and their relatives

And have been privileged 

To be with them at difficult times in their lives!

I see a 'purpose' in this

Time apart

Which makes it all OK

My thoughts and good wishes

Are with each one of you

My dear, dear

Blogging Friends

Be Blessed

This morning

I woke this morning to a glorious 

Sunrise

From the windows of my hospital ward

I took a couple of, I think, unusual photos but wasn't able to download them

From my iPad

I look forward to showing them after I return home!

From here I can see the queues of panicking shoppers trying to get everything done before

The Big Day!

Cars queuing in

And cars queuing out.........

It seems so strange to be sitting , as it were, as an onlooker

Seeing but not a part of it all!

Down there there are battles being fought for parking spaces...

Getting the last minute presents 

And food

Up here .... In my ward .....there is a battle for life being played out .....

Not mine but another dear old lady!

Reaching for each new breath...............

And surrounded by her family

Puts things in perspective

Doesn't it?

At home are all the half done 'things'

That I had been planning to accomplish this week.......

There's no point in my fretting

They say I'll be in here quite a while longer

So I just have to let it all go

As a friend emailed me

" at least you have to rest now!"

So...thanks for all your caring thoughts and prayers

I so appreciate each one

And please....please in this Season of Joy

Think of those who are suffering

And say a prayer for Barbara

As she walks .........

Back in Hospital

The chest infection that saw me taken into hospital in an ambulance
last Sunday and spending most of the day in Resus

Has made me have to be readmitted!

I saw the Doctor this afternoon

any he said I had to go straight to Hospital


( do not pass go....do not collect £200 etc)


I have been able to catch up with a lot of you while being unable to
leave the sofa !

Those I didn't. I'm so sorry!

I had a new post planned for my return from the Dr....

I had been going to show you the ripple blanket that I have started whilst lying down
But that's for another post!

Thanks for your support
Joan

Deck the Halls?



When we were staying with my mother

only a couple of weeks ago..

...seems more!

We took my daughter

to a place I always have to visit

on my trips to see Mum.

The above is the entrance .....

to the little coffee room

Sitting...looking out...

is another view of the treasures hidden around.

I hardly manage to 'escape' from here

without buying.....

some of the unusual things that I rarely

see elsewhere

(That's my excuse anyway!)

Needless to say...

I didn't escape this time either!!

Thank you all so much

for sharing your thoughts with me

after my last post

It's not so much that I feel pressured to blog...

because I don't!

It's more that sometimes I don't manage

to visit you

and that makes me feel guilty ....(isn't really

the word that I'm searching for!)

I find that, since I started blogging,......

 I view my surroundings differently!

I so want to share my world with you,

my friends!

Equally, I have learnt so much from you all.

I have looked at my china etc

and decided to change around the tops of

the mantle or other  tables.....

Instead of keeping them always the same!!

I have cleared out my front porch

and am waiting...

...... for inspiration on how to 'dress it'

Yes...I know it's a little out of focus...

but hey....

I'm not perfect ...and....

 ......I so wanted to show you

I digress.....

I have been encouraged to try out things...

like crochet and, even,

actual blogging!

I have pushed myself to walk a little further so that I could show you some of our beautiful county....

places that I haven't been able to enjoy for 4 years!

and...all along the way

... you have been 'there' for me and with me...

encouraging me...telling me that, yes, I could do it!!

You have also supported me when I was waiting for hospital appointments....

through surgery...

through other emotional family problems.....

through hubbie's stroke

a few weeks ago

So why.....

should I want to stop blogging?

I don't...

so could you please tell me........

how do you feel...manage...

visiting and responding to the lovely and encouraging comments?

I could ...and have...spent hours visiting....

I LOVE IT

but life 'happens'!

and the comment

I had a couple of weeks ago saying

why hadn't I visited in a while and that...

 'friends visit'

made me feel that I was 'short changing' you all!!

I would really appreciate your feedback!

As we were driving away

I realised that I hadn't taken a picture of the outside

(I was so keen to get in)!!

So this is taken through the back window

Sorry!!

So.......!?

It seems a strange title........

but that is where I am!

For several weeks I have struggled to decide whether I should continue blogging.

I have read others' struggles with the decision

to continue...or not!

Everyone has been so supportive and has written such encouraging comments to me

but I have not had the time, or the oomph,

to visit them recently

I have felt that I am not alone

when I read the supportive notes that

 you all have written

and I so enjoy reading about others' lives all over the world and seeing areas that I will never visit

I have learnt so much about decorating

my home

and been given so many ideas as to how to arrange

my china and front porch

(well I have the ideas but haven't done it yet!)

I've even started crocheting and been encouraged along by you all, to try other things

but I just haven't visited you recently.......

In fact one of my followers gently pointed out

in her comment to me last week

that I hadn't visited her recently........

and that friends visit each other!!

So I'm thinking that it is not fair to you all who kindly continue visiting me and leaving encouraging comments.......

perhaps I had better stop

Since this last op I am still on so many meds

that life seems to be 

a long hard daily chore......

(as I know it is for so many of you, my friends) 

and I just don't seem to get around

to all that I intend to... 

My daughter did take me up to see my mother

which was so good of her

Mum looked great, as always, and it was good to sit and share stories

She's 92 and in better fettle than I am!

My husband had a slight stroke last week

I took him to the doctors as I thought he had had one and he refused to go anywhere else.

The doctor immediately admitted him to hospital

and he was there for a few days.

I didn't mention it on my last blog as I hadn't told my mother and she would have been upset

to read it first here!

He's home now and certainly a lot better...

I finished Mum's Granny Stripe blanket and she's delighted with it.

It amused me to see the difference

in size and tension

between the first rows and the last ones. This was the first proper crochet work that I started!!

I then made this baby shawl

for my neighbour's new granddaughter

I found the pattern in Ravelry

it was by Candi Jensen

  see here

I found this pattern on Ravelry, and

designed by Suzana Davidovic, for  a Calm Cowl

I'm crocheting it in Rowan Purelife

British Sheep Breeds Undyed and it's from

a Bluefaced Leicester

I made Mum's cowl in Manos del Uruguay.

It looked really lovely on her

but I forgot to take a photo......!

So....my friends...thank you so much for your help and friendship

I'm not being mawkish

but, if you feel that you could put up with a friend

who visits only occasionally......

and blogs infrequently...

Making Every Minute Count

I was taking photos a few weeks ago, to capture

the last flowers before the winter

when a butterfly

decided to enjoy them too!!

It made me think about 'savouring the moment.'

I don't know about you but I so enjoy the beauty around me and the simplest  flower

growing stuck in a corner

of a pile of rubble

can touch something deep inside me that demands

a response.....and a pause

in what I'm doing!

I am touched by its beauty and I take a photo

or two.......

I pause to enjoy the moment

and wonder what quirk of fate cause it to seed and grow in such an unwelcome place

Here's another that has just turned up

out of the blue !

I don't even know what it is!

(the yellow one above)

Others are ones that I have planted and I do

pause, frequently, to enjoy...

their colours and shapes

                    I'm not trying to be corny.....
                          but I am thinking
                 of all that is happening in my life     
                            and I wonder
if I am making the best of where I am at this moment

                      rather than worrying
    about what I have lost and what the future holds?!
                           .....and...yes... 
       I know it says something similar in the Bible!!



I so appreciate the loving and thoughtful

words that you have spent time

writing to me...

after my last post

and I hope to reply personally

to each one of you my dear friends!

It has made me think a lot and I realise that I need

to spend time just enjoying where I am

and what I have.

I don't mean that I/we shouldn't dream...

(I still need to learn how as.........

I seem to have forgotten!)

I remember well

watching my children...and, also now, grandchildren

hunkering down on their haunches

totally concentrating on watching an ant or....

some other bug

totally absorbed....

their whole world focussed on watching

whatever was happening

before them

I don't know about you..... but,

probably due to many responsibilities and 'things'

that are a source of worry and concern,

I feel that I have lost this ability!

William Henry Davies wrote

"What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep or cows...."

I well remember.......

several years ago,

going for a walk with a friend.

We stopped,leaning on a gate, to enjoy the view.

There were cattle contentedly grazing

and a stream flowing slowly by....... while a tree

trailed its branches in the water

making little sparkles as the sun struck sparks

of light on the ripples

in the water.

Suddenly I realised that I was trying

to count the cattle!!

What a relief when I realised that.......

they were not my responsibility..

......they belonged to somebody else!!

I was free to relax and enjoy the scenery!

What am I trying to say?

Seeing the butterfly sipping the nectar from

 the flower...

Can I realise

what are my responsibilities

and what can I let go

so that I can

pause and take in the glory of the moment

and enjoy where I am

IN THIS PRESENT MOMENT!!

I'm joining Sunny Simple Sunday

and The Sunday Community

Somewhere Over the Rainbow?!

When I awoke the other morning

there was a glorious

Rainbow

outside my window.....

so I did as all bloggers seem to do.....

and grabbed my camera!

How I wish I had a wider lens so

I could capture the whole!

I loved the double rainbow

that seemed to highlight the local houses

The raindrops on the lens

still don't seem to spoil the picture!

I was thinking of the song from 'The Wizard of Oz'

'Somewhere over the rainbow

Skies are blue

and the dreams that you dare to dream

really do come true'

So many of my 'dreams' have come to a grinding halt

and I find myself afraid to dream

in case they just don't happen..........

in fact, if I'm truly honest, I have spent so much time

in a 'waiting for the next op'

frame of mind

that I don't know what to dream anyway!!

Sorry if this is an uncomfortable post but I wonder how many who read this have had to put their dreams on hold for so long that they can't remember or don't know how to dream again?

I know that I'm afraid to try........

.....I just don't know what to dream

One thing I'm desperate to do is go 200 miles

to see my mother

whom I haven't seen

since her 92nd birthday in August!

I usually try to drive and see her every other month

They have only just allowed me to drive

but only as far as our local town!

There are no easy trains or buses!

I would need some way

where I can stop, get out and move around

I have tossed so many ideas around in my mind.

My daughter said yesterday

 that she will try to take me ...... she has a full life

with family and many other committments

so I don't know how she can 'fit it in'!

I used to be driving everywhere and so independent!

This life is so different and difficult!!

Would you say seeing Mum is a dream...?

In fact, now I come to think about it,

what is a dream?

'Someday I'll wish upon a star

and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops

away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me'

Wouldn't that be a nice place to be?......