Sooooo Long!!

My dear blogging friends

It has been so long

and I feel ashamed that I haven't replied

to so many lovely comments

and emails!

Thanks you all so much!

I wasn't allowed to drive for sometime

and so kind friends took me 

out for drives

This one is over the Preseli Hills

with the 2 reservoirs in the background

I had hoped to have made more progress by now.

The pain in my back is easier

and I can feel my feet 

(though this is sometimes very painful).

I am still on crutches

and cannot walk without them.

I asked why this was worse than before the op

so they decided to do an Xray

of my left hip...

and....

low and behold...

it is bone on bone and growing spurs

The right one is, apparently, text book OK!!

When I look at the quarries above

or the little cottage

in the moors..

when I think of how hard life must have been

for those working there...

I think, "What have I to whinge about"

The fact still remains....

I am still in a lot of pain and on strong painkillers

and

I need another operation!

So I am going back to Cardiff 

for a total hip replacement 

on 30th April

Tomorrow I have to go there

for a 2 hour pre-op assessment....

I have been rather down.

Although I know that hip replacements are routine and very successful now...

It's the thought 

of the immediate post-op pain

and the pain when you have to start mobilising.

I know some of you have been through so much worse but it's only a few months since my last major op and sometimes I think that I just don't have the energy for this all over again.

Plus over these last 6 years I have had been in plaster 3 times (2 of these ops.1 of those a fusion) on my left ankle;

2 times on my right (1 was an op.);

2 back operations

and now...this!!

And...

Every time...

I was told...

"This will be it...after this all will be well...."

I thought I'd be up and able to walk our lovely coast path and do things with my mother and grandchildren without having to take handfuls of painkillers and sit down every few steps...

I'm fed up of putting a brave face on so that people will want to be in my presence.

I'm fed up of people laughing at things that I have to do for day to day living..

like carrying things up and downstairs 

(which I do as seldom as possible as it's so painful) 

in a backpack.  

I laugh with them laughing at me

but inside I'm bleeding!!

In the Drs the other day I was in tears and was told "Never mind.  Use your black humour.  You'll get by"

Now you see, my friends, why I haven't blogged in so long....

I've probably already driven away

the few of your who have been kind enough to write!!

Sorry!

I do hope that you can understand 

why I haven't blogged.

Life has just been too painful

and upsetting

and I can no longer put on a mask

and joke about it!

It was a lovely day Easter Sat

so I persuaded a friend to come to one of my favourite places...

Picton Castle.

In a wild patch of garden the Fritillaria 

were looking gorgeous

Aren't they gorgeous?

Round the corner we came upon.....

Aren't they incredible?

My friend was totally

overwhelmed!

They are made from sculptured willow.

Just look at the hands!

Aren't they....?

I've run out of superlative adjectives!!

It was a lovely..

and surprising....afternoon!

And ...then...

I arrived home to find

an Easter arrangement from a friend

Isn't this a cute arrangement?

I am so fortunate in all my friends...

and I include you all in this.

Thanks you so much for your care and concern!

Do you see who I see 

lurking amongst the flowers....