Yes.....I Know.......!!

Yes....I know...

It's been almost 2 months since I wrote.

Life seems to have been so full.

A cry I know many of us echo as we try to catch life by the coattails!

I decided that, with all the sitting around, being unable to get out

my mind was beginning to need

 some stretching

so I started doing a course, by distance learning,

with the Open University.

I didn't tell anyone...just in case

I didn't manage to complete it as I didn't want 

to have egg on my face!

I've taken it one assignment at a time..

and so many times I have sat in front of the computer and thought

"I can't do this!"

Yet, I have!

I have so enjoyed the breadth of what I have learnt...

sometimes I have felt angry 

(on the behalf of those that I am learning about,)

other times I have felt frustrated,

as the assignments haven't covered the things that have grabbed my attention

But, I've done it!!

Oh yeah!!

I really can't believe it....

I have completed 7 Tutor marked assignments.

I was telling my doctor this week

and he said

to have achieved an average over the 7 of

77%

when during the study time

I have had 2 major ops.,

have an eye problem which means my eye slowly closes when I'm reading...

...and I fall asleep

(more often than not!)

and also I am on some majorly strong pain killers!

Was really something!!

The next part was the examinable 

component 

of the course

50% of the marks 

and,apparently, if you fail that

you fail the course!

So, I have had my head down for days

...even weeks...it feels!

working at it.

My eyes feel exhausted and my brain

scrambled!

Well more than it usually is!

I have checked... and rechecked...

and rechecked..

and now I have submitted it.

Oh yeah!!

I'm happy about the content but...

am worried

that I may have got the referencing wrong.

However...

I have to stop worrying..

it's done and dusted...as a friend of mine would say!

I have already booked for my next course...

am I a masochist?
No...

I'm really enjoying all I am learning...

and the assignments

help me look deeper and not just skim read.

I have learnt so much about the world we live in.

I started just wanting to do a course

but now am...

in line to do a degree...over the years.

I don't know whether I will...

we'll see!

What I am doing is just....

doing one assignment at a time...

sometimes kicking and screaming...

but, I'm doing it!

and enjoying it!!

I hope it doesn't sound as if I am complaining 

because I'm not...

I'd stop if I didn't  find it so exhilarating!

Otherwise...

all is well!!

Sorry Mum didn't do a post when she was here.

I've got the photos but it seemed to be all go! 

Perhaps I'll manage 

to settle down with her

when I am able to visit her!

At the moment I'm not allowed to drive that far!

My hip is wonderful....don't know I've had it done..

My back is a different story....

It is really painful still.

I asked the physio.... when I last saw him

and he said it would be 12-18 months

before we finally know what's happening....

I asked if I would still be in pain

and he said that I could be.

I said...why the op then...if the pain doesn't go?

He said that I had to have it as 

I would have been in a wheelchair.

I suppose that's one blessing!!

I have been visiting but not commenting ....sorry!

It's a glorious autumn day so

I am going to have some lunch...

and then...

go outside and enjoy a short walk...

coming??!!

Pink!!

Yes

I know that my Title is 'Pink'

and this is a blue flower.

I just wanted to share my thoughts

on the fact that

we determine what is going to happen

or we think...

by a word or chance remark

and then...

perhaps go on our own bunny trail.....

so

we get thrown

and question why ...what..?

I've been unable to spend time in the garden

as I would like........

..and, suddenly,.. 

as I looked out of the sun room window....

I realised that practically all the plants 

in my patio garden

are pink!!

The old pergola 

is showing a lot of signs of age

(like me....I sigh)

and the winter storms

have pushed it over at a frightening degree!

I do love to look out and see the flowers

it just brightens up the day!

To get back to expectations...

how hard do you find it

to change the train of thought that

a word or an incident starts off..

...??

For me...something can trigger

a train of thought

that might be nothing like the other person intended

as they started to speak...

but I ...

have gone off on a totally different track

and it can be hard then

to see what the other person meant!

My physio said that the back pain.. 

may never get better....

and I was immediately

going back down the tunnel of despair.

He said we won't know for another 12-18 months

how bad....or good....

it is going to end up!

I asked 

"Why the fusion of the 4 vertebra then?"

He said that

the collapse of my vertebra

could have got so bad

that I might have ended up in a wheelchair

I immediately latched onto the negative

and started down the winding trail..

but...

on reflection..

there's a lot of positive 

in what he says..

and I have to relearn

to pick up the positive and stand on that!

Talking of expectations ...

and looking at things in certain ways...

The flowers I have shown have all been

pink

and taken...

whilst I have been standing with my back to the house

looking at the patio....

When I turn around 180*s.....

look what I can see...

BLUE

While I had been thinking all is pink...

when I changed direction...

there was blue!

and...

this little agapanthus

is very special to me as...

when my mother and I went to Madeira

it must be nearly 20 years ago...

we went on a trip right up into the mountains..

and there were farmers selling the plants.

Mum and I bought a few...

I gave some to my daughters...

and planted some...

in my garden.

They became overgrown with weeds and brambles

and I thought I'd lost them...

until...

a couple of years ago..

hubby was clearing the area for his new tool shed

when he said....

"This is a strange weed"

I couldn't believe it...and rushed to put it in a pot...

where it's stayed until...

a couple of weeks ago I saw signs

that it was going to flower..

Voila!!!

Perhaps

there's a lesson for me there....

to not hear the beginning

without hearing the end....

but also..

not to go down the same old road...but....

to turn right around and look for...

the unexpected...

the signs of hope and change...

that perhaps I will be able to regain 

some of my old life...

and do...

some of the things..

that I used to do and enjoy before!

Sorry about all of this..

but it spoke so powerfully to me!

I couldn't finish without showing you

what happened last week..

as you know

I planted all the trees and shrubs etc 

when we built our house.

These last few years

I have been unable to do any weeding etc

and it has really upset me

especially this big border by the wall.

Then

a team of young people from a church in Aberystwyth

came to our area for a week...

to hold tent meetings

for the community

and they also

offered to help weed gardens of those who were having difficulty in doing

all sorts of other hard to do jobs!

I so wish I had taken 'before' pictures

but

perhaps from the mounds of weeds

you'll get the idea!!??

I am just so grateful to them....

It has really cheered me up....

In fact...

the other afternoon.....

I was so busy looking at my lovely new border

that...

I nearly drove into the wall of the house!

True!!

What a great way

of showing God's love...

through serving people without expecting

anything more than thanks!

The other good thing is 

that part of the garden has been tidied up

to celebrate my mother's visit.

She is hoping to come at the beginning of August

to celebrate her 94th birthday

with the family in Wales

She is much fitter than I am

so I expect

I will be able to twist her arm

to do a guest post 

as she has done these last couple of years!

Fading Gingernut Visits

Fading Gingernut Returns

Perhaps if you ask nicely......

(She reads my blog)

so you can ask her yourself

Thanks for allowing me to take you 

around the ideas that seem to be filling my thoughts!

Freedom!!

I saw the consultants

last week and...

they are both delighted with my progress

As for the pain in my back.....

I'm told it may never go....

I won't know..

how good..or bad

it will be..

for at least another...

12-18 months!

The good news is...

that the fusion seems to be working and

the bone grafts are taking...

so that should stabilize my spine..

against any more slippages!!

AND!!!!!

I'm aloud to DRIVE AGAIN!!!!

Short distances for now....

and I have to say

it's still very painful trying to move my legs...

and the muscles have degenerated

so that sometimes, I have to physically

lift them ...by hand...sort of..

so I won't be tempted to drive too far.

BUT

I can get out without having to bother

any of my wonderful friends

who have stood by me

on those many non-driving times

over these last six and half years!!

Actually...

I'll let you into a secret.....

Now that I CAN drive....and go out

I don't particularly WANT to!!

Isn't that typical?!

I wonder whether you have found yourself

thinking just the same thing?

Do You know....?

I just love to chat to you like this...

while we meander

around this beautiful garden.

It's one I can easily manage on the crutches

that I'm told I'll be using for some time.

So I can concentrate totally

on all the interesting things...

that you're sharing!

It's one of my favourites places..

and I know I've brought you here before

But...

every time I come...

I'm struck by something different....

something that takes my breath away...

and it's soooo good

to share it with you.....thank you!

Again....I have brought you

to the walled garden at Picton Castle

The flowers are just so beautiful

at this time of year

It seems to go from one...

"OH, just look at this...to the next"!!

One of the many things...

 that I love about this garden

is the change in shapes and texture

where ever you look..

Strong and tall

against

sweet and delicate!

Paper thin poppies

against

strident succulents!

The contrasts....

The beautiful blue sky

and 

the red....red...roses!

I so enjoy this place

and really hope you do too?

At this time of the year...

some local villages

have 'open gardens'...

when some of the homes open their gardens

to raise money for charity.

I love going to these

...and...

last weekend we went to one

near my daughter's home.

We called in for a cup of tea and

sat in the garden

relaxing whilst

the children played...

Suddenly my daughter said...

"You've got a butterfly on your sunhat, Mum"

Now...

I HATE having my photo taken

and I had no makeup

or any idea of what I looked like

when I crammed my sunhat on....

but....

I just felt I had to show you these photos...

that is...

only if you promise not to laugh...

or...

make comments...like...

'the camera doesn't lie...'

Plus

I had to stay really still

so it didn't fly way

Worth it though!!